Stressed out

It started with a growing sense of dread in the mornings. With the dawn of each new day, Simon – an account manager for a PR company – felt more and more panic at the prospect of going into the office.

Waves of terror rose up in him at the idea of walking into his workplace, having to exchange morning pleasantries with his colleagues, sitting at his desk and facing an insurmountable pile of work generated by difficult clients, being overseen by a boss who expected the world and gave him no support. He just couldn’t cope.

After several months, Simon was a mess. He says: “At night, instead of sleeping, I’d cry or drink heavily. I was arguing with my boyfriend, losing my temper at work. I was convinced that everybody at work hated me. I’d stopped going out, couldn’t face seeing my friends. I lived on chocolate, cigarettes and coffee.”

Simon was lucky enough to work for a company with a supportive HR department who approved extended leave for him, and arranged work-based counselling. Had he not had this support, he could have faced serious health risks.

Stress at work is an increasingly widespread phenomenon – especially during the current economic climate, with the threat of redundancies and budget cutbacks in many sectors, and an increasingly performance-driven culture in the workplace. But even for those not facing job loss, there are a raft of other workplace hazards – bullying by managers or colleagues, unrealistic workloads, under-resourcing, long hours, unachievable targets that are linked to pay, lack of managerial support or supervision, and the demands of an increasingly flexible employment market.

In 2007-08 an estimated 442,000 individuals in Britain, who worked in the last year, believed that they were experiencing work-related stress at a level that was making them ill, according to the Labour Force Survey. But many stressed workers slip through the statistical net – those who can’t identify what is happening to them, who don’t acknowledge it, or who are too ashamed or afraid to admit there’s a problem.

London-based psychotherapist and trainer Austin Pacitto, who frequently works with gay and lesbian clients, says, “People may try and put up a façade. There’s often a pressure on people to get on with it. Nowadays, if you complain of feeling stressed or depressed at work, not all employers are sympathetic.”

But ignoring the symptoms of excessive stress can be dangerous. “Stress needs to be balanced. If negative stress persists, it may lead to long-term health problems,” warns Pacitto.

“Some of the warning signs to watch out for include recurring feelings of anxiety; feeling generally unhappy; poor physical health – including headaches, upset stomach, and more serious illnesses; an increase in alcohol or drug consumption; addictive behaviour around food, sex or even work; and variant forms of depression – from feeling overwhelmed, to feeling that life is futile.”

Addressing the situation is key, according to Pacitto. “Look after the basics first – get plenty of sleep, regular exercise, and make sure you eat well. Meditation also works for some people. Make time for yourself and your friends. Create firm boundaries between your work and your personal life.

“If none of these things work, get support from a therapist, or go to a workshop on managing stress. If you feel you can, speak to your manager – see if they can help you draw up an action plan to alleviate your stress, look at your priorities and review your workload.

“Some organisations will refer the employee to Employee Assistance Programmes – counselling can be arranged through or outside of the workplace.

“You could also think about taking time out from work. Go to your GP and discuss your problems – they may be able to refer you to a good counsellor, or, if you really need it, they may be able to sign you off work.”

Pacitto says that getting support is crucial: “Look at your support networks. Make sure you have a lot of contact with your friends or family. And also, therapy might help – talking to somebody who isn’t judgemental, who gives you space and time. This process might take six weeks to a year.”

If you do look for a counsellor, stresses Pacitto, make sure they’re accredited or registered: “They will have these letters after their name: either MBACP (accred), or UKCP registered. Have a look at bacp.co.uk, the website for the British Association for Counselling and Therapy.”

Low-cost options often depend on which borough you live in – your GP may be able to refer you to an inexpensive therapist, or search on the web in your local area. There are plenty of gay or gay-friendly therapists, too – check out pinktherapy.com for a list.

But above all don’t ignore excessive stress at work – knuckling down and getting on with the job won’t make it go away.